dijous, de juliol 12, 2007

Mid-July post

I feel a sudden loss of direction, not in a bad way, though. I have two weeks of relative freedom ahead of me, and the sense of no stress, no dead-lines, no pressure is almost too much to bare. Just went on retreat for a couple of days. It's confirmed, I'm somewhat and somehow programmed and uncapable of connecting with the mitras. Except for one or two, of course. The main reason behind it, I gather, is my unaccessibility, both personal and factual. There's four Dharmacharis who will have a more active role with the GFR Mitra Sangha, but not me. I see two very stressful years ahead of me. In August I'm starting my Masters' at the UNAM: three seminars, lots of research, lots of reading, lots of writing, very little time for distractions. Plus I have my 10-3 work and my various others means to get some $. I'm sorry mitras, I won't be there for you. Can barely breath with the input I already have. Next week I'm off to Linares, Northern Mexico, to give a talk on Goya, should be fun. I'll spend the weekend working on the talk. And I seriously have to start thinking on my dissertation, which I have to defend in exactly two years, and time flies mercilessly. Better go now. I feel "pressured" to go to sleep.

3 comentaris:

Daniel Durini ha dit...

Dear Aryaprabha,

best of luck in Linares and please, try to take it easy. In my experience, the pressures diminish the moment you stop worrying about the things you have to do and start actually doing them. And, as I have to present the first final version of my own dissertation in September this year, I absolutely understand what you mean. So, cheer up, don't take everything so seriously and try to enjoy the adventure... day by day, minute by minute. Being here and now helps fighting the anxiety.

Best regards,
Daniel.

Marco Antonio Silva Barón ha dit...

Thanks a bunch for the uplifting words. I tend to melodramatize my life. But I should be grateful, though, I lead a reasonably good life and at times I tend to lose perspective on how good I'm actually doing. Cheers and thanks again for cheering me up.

Moksananda ha dit...

Aryaprabha,

Just be there for your friends, and don't worry too much about what the rest of the 'mitras' etc think. You're a very, very good friend to those who ARE your friends and I'd rather see you having real friendships with one or two, than 'official' friendships with ten.

Honest.

Good to see you recently.

Love